Truthfully, like any relationship, you cannot help whom you love. A lot of people on the Internet like to weigh-in negatively about interracial relationships and why they happen. When you fall in love, it will have nothing to do with your race. But, you can definitely take yourselves less seriously on October 31st each year.ĩ. Be Uhura and Spock from Star Trek, be Pocahontas and John Smith–or, you can blow everyone’s minds and go as just a pumpkin or a witch. If you want to point out your melanin difference, there are loads of costumes you can partake in. Maybe he doesn’t know the words to “Creep” by TLC, but you don’t know the words to “Creep” by Radiohead either, so be open to those experiences.Ĩ. I had never listened to Radiohead before dating my last boyfriend, even though I had heard they were a pretty influential contemporary band. Seasoning skills are not something you are born with. You shouldn’t not see a man just because your family has prejudices, and the same goes for his family.Ħ. Talk to your family, and if they don’t want to meet him, sit with that. You will both help each other through this. While you might be dreading meeting older family members due to 50+ years of internalized racism, he just as much fears that your family wants to retaliate for having to endure ignorance while they were coming up. If he says the wrong thing, and you catch wind of it, he knows that’s his ass. Their friends want to know what the differences are, even when none are all that apparent.
As much as we live in a post-racial society, their friends may not be as enlightened as they are. They need help knowing what to tell their friends. Every damn body loves fried chicken, but now he’s far too aware of the stereotypes associated and will be torn about it every time you pass a KFC.Ĥ. They will always be embarrassed about fried chicken. This conversation doesn’t have to be uncomfortable if you’re certain of your stance, but if you waiver, they will be forever confused and your weighing-in on the subject can save them from physical harm and embarrassment in the future.ģ. Though I date smart enough humans to not ever be asked to be the voice of my entire race, I still get asked how I feel about rappers using the N-word, and who has access to it. They don’t want to say the N-word, but they do want to talk about why some people do. Trust me, while it gets easier to explain, it doesn’t ever stop needing to be explained.Ģ. From moisturizing, to protecting with a satin cap, there is always a new and interesting thing for your guy to discover. It might start with an innocent “did you get a haircut” right after you wash your hair and there is shrinkage–but it does not end…EVER…after that.
They will never understand the hair thing. Because of this, I have dated quite a few White guys, and while there are similarities when dating any man, there are still some small cultural quirks that never go unnoticed when you’re with a White dude. In high school, there were other Black students, but none of them in my close-knit drama and speech class circles. Growing up in Northern Kentucky, I got used to being the only Black kid in most of my classes.